Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
