i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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