I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
