I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize