he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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