Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
