when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
