I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
this will be a night to untag.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
