Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
