Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
