Do you still have your period?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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