it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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