This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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