he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
