He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we're making bets on your personal life
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
