i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize