And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
