Non-Jews are for practice
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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