Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
