True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
