How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
