i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize
