I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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