Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
