I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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