either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize