I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I AM VODKA MAN
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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