He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
