Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
