It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
