my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
