She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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