then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
