The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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