a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You were trust falling into bushes
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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