so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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