some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
