that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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