the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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