Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
