Your face is a jimmy john
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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