"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
