I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I stole a fireplace last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
