yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
