Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
