Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
