I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
