Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
