Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Someone signed my nipple.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
