Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
