Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
