just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They have beer where we have blood.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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