don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
