God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
