I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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