Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
