I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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