I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
