9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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