Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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